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02 February 2010 @ 04:40 am
Porn dump. And crap, I need sleep.  
Hello all. I've been a bad person. But I bring porn. Not really, but yeah. My mind has been ruined by real life stuff. I am now an insomniac. I hope everyone is good. Must buy coffee tomorrow. Moo.


In the beginning it was always frantic and awkward and messy and hot.
That's how Naruto had always imagined it would be.

Not that his creativity was in the least at fault, but after nearly half a year of mortifying hard ons at the most inconvenient of places, and rushed, half assed relief in public toilets, desperation tended to take over the finer details of fantasy.

So to say that it came as a bit of a  shock when he woke up to the feel of a tongue trailing its way up the side of his calf is more than a little justified.


He raised himself just enough to see Sasuke glaring at him over the curve of his knee.

'Shut up, moron.'

'What -'

Sasuke bit the skin on the soft inside of his thigh. Hard.

Naruto was always fast on hints. So he shut up.

This time, it was incredibly slow. Sasuke seemed intent on taking the entire morning, and it was maddening and erotic and crazy and so fucking good. He licked and bit his way up Naruto's torso, rough, sword - calloused hands sliding minutely along his sides, breath hot on his chest, collarbones, neck.

By the time they were at level with each other, Naruto was nearing hysterics.

Then Sasuke leaned down and teasingly licked the swell of his lower lip.

That was all it took. Naruto's train of thought shattered into blinding vacuum.

Later, he realized that the smirk on Sasuke's face meant that he would never be allowed to forget that the entire time, his cock had remained untouched.


Kanda knows that Allen knows that The Smile infuriates him to no end.

It was a ridiculous bitch of a smile, really, and Allen used it all the time. He showered it upon defeatists, promising them the hope they all knew to be a deserter. He used it on the dying to tell them of life and he used it in the middle of the battle, to give the warriors a glimpse of peace. He used it strategically, he used it shamelessly, and he used it to annoy the fuck out of Kanda.

Like when he straddles him on a chair, slides moist palms under his shirt, and keeping his gaze sharp, smiles.

And, almost immediately, before Kanda can shove him off, he rocks his hips. And keeps at it, pace accelerating with each passing second, a frenzy of movement, wet denim on wet denim.

All the time with the damn smile on.

Kanda maintains that he fucking hates it.

Hikaru No Go

Touya had heard about it of course, you'd be either insane or plain oblivious to know Ogata and not, but he had never really approved of the concept of alley sex.

So he had no idea really, as to why he was allowing Hikaru to kiss a frantic path up the side of his neck, while one hand worked clumsily on his zipper, against a wall in what seemed like the darkest, shadiest, filthiest lane this side of Japan.

'Shindou,' He managed, once the mad, mad idiot paused in sucking at his pulse point. 'We have to go. There's a - a tournament and, oh shit -'

Hikaru had dropped to his knees, and belatedly, Touya noted, that his trousers had dropped even further down.

'It's your fault,' Hikaru murmered, raising almost glazed eyes to meet Touya's. 'You shouldn't look so fucking hot when you're playing me in bloody public. And you know you look good in that blue shirt.'

Then he leaned forward, and blew hotly at the tip of his cock.

The night before their next tournament, Touya carefully pressed the blue shirt and left it folded on his couch so that there was no chance of him forgetting to wear it in the morning.


Sebastian knew, and knew too well, that humans had their own share of problems and agendas, and trivial issues that they all liked to treat as cataclysmic.

But this was ridiculous.

'You will sleep here tonight.'

He stared at the boy, the child, his master, small in his bedclothes, supported by his pillow, as he looked back at him defiantly.

'Master, I do not think its appropriate -'

'Don't,' Ciel said through clenched teeth. 'Tell me what's bloody appropriate in my own house. If Mr. Wordsmith could do it, so can you.'

'I am,' Sebastian said lightly. 'But a butler.'

'Shut up and do as I say.'

It was a bit amusing really, to watch Ciel as he took off his shoes. The boy was tense, shoulders stiff with nervousness in the flickering light of the candle. Sebastian would never understand why every human practised this common trait; blindly rushing into things they were not in the least prepared for.

It became a little less amusing once he was in bed, as was the case every time he drew close to Ciel. Sebastian had always held his self control in high pride, but that didn't mean things were always smooth. Especially when his master was this close, and when he smelt like that.

He had almost anticipated it, because Ciel was too slow, and too obvious, and so when the bed jerked and he felt a smaller body straddling him in the dark, he didn't utter a sound. Then he felt something cold and sharp press into his throat.

'The missing steak knife from dinner,' He observed dispassionately. 'I was wondering where it had disappeared to.'

'Shut up,' Ciel snarled, and the knife pressed deeper. 'Shut up. And listen to me.'

Sebastian smiled obligingly.

'You're never to do that again. Never, do you hear me? You pretend to die only when and if I ask you to pretend, and that's an order.'

'Yes,' Sebastian said easily. 'Of course, young master.'

A moment later he heard the soft thud of metal hitting the rug. Ciel sat back, almost as though he were tired, straddling him still. He was trembling.

This warranted, Sebastian thought, his own moment of fun.

So he placed his palms, warm on Ciel's bare thighs and rubbed two slow circles there.

He heard a sharp intake of breath, and smiled.

Then he slid his palms further up, slow and sure, pushing the hem of the over sized shirt his master liked to wear to bed, until his fingers rested lightly on thin, bony hips.

He paused for a heartbeat. Then.

'Goodnight, young master.'

It took a few seconds more for the moment to unravel. Then Ciel scooted to his side of the bed as if he had been branded.

Sebastian smiled in spite of the hunger raging in the pit of his belly.

Too early, too young.

But, if he had anything to say about it, they had plenty of time.

Kingdom Hearts

This one time Sora had tied him to the bedpost and sat on his thighs, his fingers a sure grasp on Riku's cock, and proceeded to explain to him that if he didn't learn to keep the house moderately clean and ditch the trash when it was his turn, there would be no sex for a month. Wait, no, a year.

Riku would never admit, ever, not for the life of him, that he had nearly come four minutes into the lecture.

Harry Potter

The first time they did it was in the lane behind Madame Malkins, exactly a year after Harry's divorce.

'I'll have you know, Potter,' Draco told him imperiously, trying to look as though he was not struggling with a broken zip. 'That just because I'm letting you put your mouth on my cock, it doesn't mean I don't still hate you. With a passion.'

'Yeah?' Harry said, trying not to smile like an idiot. 'Didn't sound like that a minute ago.'

'A minute ago,' Draco sneered, 'I wasn't aware that my favourite pair of trousers had been destroyed eternally. Potter, you savage, what are you, a virgin?'

'Malfoy,' Harry laughed. 'Shut up.'

Then he caught hold of either side of Draco's silken shirt and tugged; quickly moved in over the clatter of buttons hitting the pavement.

The second time they did it was in the lane behind Madame Malkins as well.

Which was a good thing because ten minutes later Draco made the utter idiot walk into the shop and buy him the best of their robes, while he stood camouflaged outside, muttering under his breath all things he had heard his father call the house elves.

Honeydew Syndrome

'Doormat,' Charles snickered softly.
Jay took in for a moment his stance on the floor; knees pressing into cold stone, mouth inches away from the other's hard on.

Then he rose to his feet.

Charles looked at him in surprise. 'What are you doing?'

Jay drew in a slow, difficult breath. 'Take that back.'

The moment stood between them like a wall.

Then, very slowly, Charles smiled, leaned in to kiss him hard, teeth nipping at his mouth painfully, before drawing back.

And for the first time, he dropped down to his knees before Jay.


Why Arthur would choose the stables of all places was beyond Merlin. The place smelt bad. The horses could see them.

And the hay was stinging his butt. It was bloody uncomfortable.

'This,' Merlin said, in between kisses. 'Is bloody uncomfortable.'

Arthur considered this for a few seconds.

'Okay,' he said finally. 'On your hands and knees.'

Spotting the better of the two options, Merlin complied without hesitating.

Except when he felt the cold tip of Arthur's tongue touch one cheek, he started and would have lurched forward if not for the firm grip on his thighs. Arthur licked a wet trail across the swell of his skin, nipped at the base of his spine, and then slowly dipped his tongue into the crease.

'Arthur,' Merlin gasped, hating the way his voice sounded. 'What the -'

He felt a gust of hot breath at his entrance, and the slight graze of teeth, before the appendage swiftly invaded it.

Arthur fucked him with his tongue for the next seven minutes.

Then he asked, sweetly, as Merlin lay a panting heap on the stable floor.

'All healed?'

Current Mood: awake
Anna: *GLOMP!*kookiety on February 1st, 2010 11:37 pm (UTC)

*sends you more love than you know what to do with it*

It is 5 AM and I haven't slept in more than 24 hours in order to reset my sleeping pattern. Apparently I can skip sleep and continue to do so. Fail.

Also, Moo to you too. May be no longer moo together.

And yes - this is just a - MY GOD TRISHA. YOU. HI. LOVE YOU!


(now I will go read the fics. aye)
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 3rd, 2010 03:01 pm (UTC)
Hush you. Speak no more of sleeping patterns to me. It's a touchy topic. Very touchy.
(Deleted comment)
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 3rd, 2010 03:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
syrrakisyrraki on February 1st, 2010 11:51 pm (UTC)
Welcome back ;)
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 3rd, 2010 03:02 pm (UTC)
I'm happy to be XD
Anna: CAPSLOCK DOES NOT FULLY EXPRESSkookiety on February 1st, 2010 11:54 pm (UTC)
Skipped Hikaru No Go, Kingdom Hearts & Honeydew Syndrome because I know nothing about them. Oh woe, so much to read. Oh woe.
*adjusts glasses*

OH SASUKE! My brain honestly immediately thought of rimming (Merlin fandom seems to love this kink) and then no it was lots and lots of licking. Hysterical Naruto is so - so much Sasuke's idea of fun. He is never, ever going to let him forget. Ever :D
Licking just - only that. Haaah. Do like.

I happen to like Allen's smile. Kanda has little taste - Allen's smile is a smile full of promise and Many Dirty Things To Happen (the meaning of the smile changes with each person, naturally).
He used it strategically, he used it shamelessly, and he used it to annoy the fuck out of Kanda. Very truthful oi. Shamelessly used, indeed (on a robot? le gasp!).

Ah. This I was very curious. Ciel threatening Sebastian for - well - current chapter is befuddling. If it's - then yes he would be very, very angry.
Oh devious Sebastian. Of course there's plenty of time with the actual time and soul-bound. Mhm. <3

Harry Potter
Potter, you savage, what are you, a virgin?
To the art of manly loving? Lol. Fic made me want to laugh. The thought of Draco waiting in ruined clothes - lol.

Um. Yeah - he very pleased. He likes the hay and the horses and colour of Arthurs sunshiney hair. Yes.
I am internally pleased it ended with kink I predicted. Very pleased.

*KEEPS by gentle force?*
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 3rd, 2010 03:06 pm (UTC)
You. Make. Me. Happy.

I like Allen's smile too.

I just woke up. I feel normal :)

You. Make. Me. Happy.

inknose: merlin's ballsinknose on February 2nd, 2010 12:51 am (UTC)
thank you, it has been months since I read some damn sexy sasunaru... and I can't really live without my fix. ♥
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 03:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
And sorry for the late reply.
Wistyylmik_wisty on February 2nd, 2010 02:09 am (UTC)
*tries to wipe off the "SO HOT HEEHEE NARUTO" grin before roommates see*

I um. I'm sorry you're an insomniac? TAKE CARE
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 03:54 pm (UTC)
Haha. Hope you failed?

I am. I am :(
maplepie_tree on February 2nd, 2010 02:29 am (UTC)
My response to all:

Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 03:55 pm (UTC)
And that makes me incredibly happy :)
questofdreams: misc - loooooooovequestofdreams on February 2nd, 2010 04:57 am (UTC)
o_o wow... *is speechless*

Naruto and DGM and Harry Potter and Merlin and OMG KUROSHITSUJI ASLKDJFLIES and KIIINGDOM HEEAARTS and even Honeydew Syndrome! HOMG ILU O_O *cough*

>_>;;; This was fab. Love it love it love it!


Edited at 2010-02-02 04:58 am (UTC)
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC)
And you helped :)
lady_drace on February 2nd, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)
LOL! Naughty Arthur. I'll be willing to bet Merlin might just complain about butt injuries a bit more often in the future. :oP
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC)
I can't disagree XD
gonriegonrie on February 2nd, 2010 11:24 pm (UTC)
Loved the Hikaru no go, Naruto and Merlin one!!!!!
And God, where were you? I haven't heard from you in months!
I'm currently addicted to a new drama (and I seriously think it may be the best drama I ever seen. SOOOO BLOODY GOOD!!!)

Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 04:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks love :)
I've been going sort of crazy. Who knew real life could be as dramatic as fics?
Which one which one????
(no subject) - gonrie on February 6th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
My Patron Deity is That of Fandomprettypriestess on February 2nd, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)
So, the only three I read were Merlin, Naruto, and Kingdom Hearts (due to only being in those fandoms), but oh man. Those were magically delicious. <3
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 04:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like :)
fadedinkindira14 on February 2nd, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
It's 6 in the morning here and i really shouldn't be doing this but YOU WROTE SOMETHING (FINALLY) and i never could resist boy porn! This was just so HOT! I read them all, even though i wasn't familiar with some of the fandoms. But seriously, who am i to miss out on some awesome man-lovin' when it's right there? I totally heart naruto and hp and dgm and merlin... And oh, congrats on becoming an insomniac! Join the club! XD
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 04:06 pm (UTC)
You read all of them?
I love you so much :)

....and its not really a...fun club, yeah?
akalilLynakalillyn on February 3rd, 2010 03:52 am (UTC)


and then harry potter :D AND MERLIN LOLS.

I'm glad you're back, but I hope you get some sleep or coffee soon! Whichever comes first. <3
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 04:10 pm (UTC)
Yay, thanks XD

I missed your enthusiasm!

...coffee. Definitely.
Hollyhollybennett123 on February 3rd, 2010 05:27 pm (UTC)
♥ I adored the Naruto one, really really beautiful!
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 04:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
tweeney: fanfiction has porntweeney on February 5th, 2010 10:05 pm (UTC)
OH HAI!!!! I always flail when I see fic from you!!
And to get SasuNaru and H/D AND porn??? ZOMG YAY! ♥♥♥

Hope RL calms down soon, hon!
Trishai_ate_your_cake on February 6th, 2010 04:11 pm (UTC)
*Is happy*
Thanks. And yeah, me too.